Self-esteem is a key indicator of our well-being. It can impact our success in every aspect of our lives, including at work and in relationships.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is a reflection of how we view ourselves. This means that we have high self-esteem and a positive opinion of ourselves. The positive impact of self-esteem on our lives is significant, not the opposite. So, self-esteem can be high or low depending on whether we succeed or fail. At Calmerry counseling for self esteem, you will only be matched with a vetted licensed therapist in your state. Our therapists are trained and licensed , and have worked as clinical psychologists or marital and/or family therapists (LMFT) as well as clinical social workers (LCSW/LMSW) or licensed professional counselors. All of them have an advanced Master’s or Doctorate degree in their respective fields. After they have completed their education, examination or training and certification, they are recognized and certified by the professional state body.
How we think, feel and act can be affected by self-esteem. It affects our relationships with other people and our relationship with ourselves. It makes us feel confident in our appearance, intelligence, personality, and abilities. We don’t care what others think about us. This shows how self-respectful we are and what we believe others should think of us.
A healthy self-esteem means being able to accept our weaknesses and strengths. This doesn’t mean that we are conceited. It simply means we accept and respect ourselves as we are. It’s not healthy to have a high self-esteem that is not true to reality. This is common in people who have narcissistic tendencies. Arrogance and bragging reveal a lack of self-esteem.
The origins of self-esteem
It is possible to build self-esteem. Positive reinforcement in the early years of life is the best way to build self-worth later in life. Our self-esteem is influenced by our thoughts, feelings, role models and how others react to us, especially in our formative years. It is affected by our life experiences, including school. However, it is largely determined through childhood interactions with those closest to us who are most influential, such as parents, siblings and friends. Low self-esteem can be caused by a variety of factors, including abusive, controlling, judgmental, or neglectful parenting, bullying from peers, and mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. If we don’t feel loved and valued unconditionally by our parents, it can lead to a deep shame.
Signs and symptoms of low self-esteem
Low self-esteem means that we don’t value ourselves, our opinions, or needs as much as others. Self-critical people focus on their perceived flaws and weaknesses, but ignore or dismiss their strengths, skills, and success. We compare ourselves with others who are more attractive, successful, or capable than we are. Negative feedback can be difficult to accept and we may be afraid of failure.
Self-esteem therapy can treat the following symptoms:
- You feel worthless and your life is meaningless
- Feeling inferior or incompetent
- Feeling unloved, generally unwanted or dislikable
- Not relying on others for their approval or opinions
- Fear of being rejected or disliked
- Guilty feelings that are frequent or irrational
- Self-criticality or criticalness of other people
- Indecision and self-doubt
- Fear of making mistakes
- Self-destructive behaviour
- Respect for others
- Comparing yourself with others
- Neglecting your feelings, needs, and wants
- Remaining in relationships that don’t reward your love or investment
- Hypersensitivity to criticism and defensiveness
- Complements are not to be taken lightly
- It is difficult to speak up, share opinions or set limits with people.
- Frequent negative thoughts or emotions
- Attracted to unhealthy relationships
- It is difficult to trust yourself
- Fear of intimacy
- Envy on others
- Difficulty in starting and completing tasks, or pursuing goals
- You and others may have distorted views
- A lack of agency – the feeling that “I can’t” is more important than “I can”.
Treatment for low self-esteem
Self-esteem can be raised by therapy and changing our behavior, beliefs and perceptions. Many people struggle with self-esteem from their earliest childhood years. Therapy is often required for this condition. It’s a difficult one to treat. If left untreated, it can lead to mental health problems and even self-harm. If you are unhappy in your relationship, improving your self-esteem can increase your love for your partner. Therapy can often make a difference in a couple’s happiness and relationships.
A supportive, caring therapist can help you develop a realistic view of yourself and encourage you to take chances and look for the positives in order to overcome low self-esteem.
Therapy to address self-worth problems is sometimes called “person-centered” (or “person-centric”), meaning you work from within. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be used to treat low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
How to find help for low self-esteem
You can improve your self-esteem by doing things on your own, in addition to seeking individual psychotherapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy group therapy.
- Monitor your negative self-talk
- Meditation for mindfulness
- Learn assertiveness in a class
- Take chances to improve your skills and your performance
- Make gratitude lists